Talking to a trusted friend may also be a good option.Consider seeing a couples counselor with training in sexual addiction or sexual problems to help you navigate your relationship.I am telling you this because I want to be honest, and I am struggling.” X Research source You could say, “I know this is painful to hear, but I am having sexual urges toward other people. Be honest, even though it may be a difficult conversation. Talk to your partner if you feel compelled to cheat on them.Be honest with yourself and each other about if this can be managed or if this is a deal-breaker for the relationship. This doesn’t make either of you wrong or right, it is just how you were made. You may want to have sex more frequently than your partner. Understand that you and your partner may have different levels of sex drive.What do you think? Are you happy with our sex life?” You could say, “I am wondering if I am having so many urges because we haven’t really been having sex lately.If you are feeling sexually unsatisfied in your relationship, be honest and discuss how the two of you could make an effort to prioritize sex. If you are currently in a relationship, talk to your partner about your sexual urges. Talk to your partner about your feelings. A journal can help you identify triggers and patterns. Consider keeping a journal of your actions and behavior leading up to sexual urges.If you find yourself aroused by steamy love scenes in movies, for example, it may be best to watch other kinds of non-romantic films until you can get a better grip on your urges. Perhaps you are triggered by stimuli in your environment.You may decide to take up a new hobby in order to keep your mind off sex. For example, you may notice that you feel most overwhelmed with sexual urges in the evenings and on weekends - when you are not working and don’t have anything to do. If you have discovered a pattern, figure out how you can break the cycle with new behaviors or lifestyle changes.See if there are any patterns that emerge in your behavior. Think about triggering stimuli, the time of day, as well as the environment in which you tend to have these urgings. Spend some time thinking about your behavior and what leads you to have sexual impulses. Perhaps this applies to you.Identify the triggers for your sexual urges. After an absence, some couples need time to become properly reacquainted, to feel trusting and safe with each other again. Stop expecting yourself – or him – to make love every time you get together. At different parts of your monthly cycle you will feel more, or less, like being sexual. Being busy, stressed, ill, or tired will stop you wanting sex, and you will also feel like withdrawing from him if he does something that makes you angry and you don't address it in a satisfactory way. Neither of you is a machine, and there will be times when he is not in the mood. You are right to gently let your boyfriend know – teach him to be understanding. It's common and normal for one's libido to fluctuate, and it's perfectly OK for you to not always be in the mood. There is nothing wrong with your sexual frequency. Do you think I have a problem? Are there any pills to take? He is not pushy, but I feel guilty that I say no. Normally we have sex about two or three times a week, but sometimes we don't have sex for a week, and when we meet I'm not in the mood. I've been with my boyfriend for six years and I really love him.
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